intimacy in the dictionary is defines as arising from close union, contact, association, as well as acquaintance. in fact, intimacy can have varies dimensions. there are :-
physical (hugging, kissing and holding hand...)
intellectual (how others think...)
emotional (exchanges important feeling..)
shared activities (include everything from working or games...)
there are also some differences in male and female intimacy styles. first, differences in expressing emotion. girl is more willing to share their thought, what they are thinking with others as compared to guy. in term of the amount and depth of information exchanged, female-female relationships are the champion on the disclosure list. *proud* XD where the second is male-female. and relationships between men has less disclosure than any other types. conclusion, female is good listener? haha. =p
culture make influences on intimacy. for example, east and western culture. we can't deny that western people is more 'open' than us. kissing and hugging infront of the public is just a very common thing to them. our culture doesn't allowed people to do this. cause holding hand and kissing doesn't allow among muslim.*but nowaday malaysian are quite open dy*
Ok so I know that its pretty outdated to write up about non-verbal communication right now. Thousand apologies Mr. Murali! But I'm just gonna write about it anyway...
So from Mr.M's awesomely thought lesson, I learnt that non-verbal communication brings us to the term " Actions speak louder than words. "
And also,non-verbal communication is closely related to body language.
Lets look at a typical example:
Lets say there was this boy. Who came to class in an aloof, hands in pocket, I'm-way-too-cool-for-school manner. Clad in skinny black jeans, grey statement T-shirt that says " F*** OFF F*****!!", with a pack of 14's Dunhill Reds in his right hand, he saunters his way to the back of the class and picks a seat alone. Only to be told by Mr.M to "SIT IN THE FRONT!". And he does so in the same,aloof manner. Smirking even more so. Then he drops his bag,sits down,slouches like his Mummy painstakingly brought him into this world without a backbone, and plugs on his iPod.
How would you intepret his whole act?
1. Appearance: His whole outfit implies that he is a Sexy Rocker Bad Boy. rawwwwrrrr ;) Or that he likes to dress in a certain way that expresses his personality;that he's here to make a statement.
2. Closeness: Since he went way to the back of the class to sit alone, it makes him seem as if he's not interested in making any new friends. Or that he doesn't give two tuts about his classmates. Introverted maybe?
3. Facial expressions: He smirked when asked to sit in front. Shows that he is quite sarcastic and reluctant to follow orders. Smart-aleck more like.
4. Posture: The slouching states that he's only coming for classes because he has to and that he just can't be bothered.
The conclusion? Bad boys are so sexy! Hah! Joke lah.
Another case maybe? You see a pretty hot chick walking confidently down the hallway. Okay maybe not just walking. Bloody catwalking lah. Sashay sashay. Swing swing hips. She's got a great sense of fashion,I must say. Sky-high Aldo heels, drainpipe jeans, Channelbaguette bag, red plunging lace top and a vintage biker jacket over her skinny toned arms...straight off the pages of VOGUE Magazine. She's on her iPhone, yapping loud and proud bimboticly with a rich American slang. Then she sees a friend;the Sexy Bad Boy from earlier. She flips off her phone, tosses her hair and goes over to give him a kiss on the lips and embraced him in a hug. Then she walks off with Sexy Bad Boy...her right hand in his jean's back pocket.
Intepreted?
1. Posture: Her confident stride says that she has got quite a high self-esteem.
2. Appearance: Obviously into fashion and looking good. High-maintenance definitely and probably has the money to keep it up too.
3. Ways of talking: Loud,bimbotic,rich American slang. I'm thinking...brought up in an open-minded English-educated family. Or she watches too much American drama TV.
4. Closeness and body contact: She probably knows Sexy Bad Boy very well. Dating,very likely. And very intimate so I guess she's pretty open in affection.
IN CONCLUSION....Damn am I good at Microsoft Paint or what? Hellyeaaaaa :D
And who needs a psychic when you can read body language!
Psychic = CONSTIPATED BULLSHIT ! Amen. All hail non-verbal communication!
Let's talk about perception. What does it mean? According to Wikipedia, the very useful site, perception is defined as the process of attaining awareness or understanding of sensory information. In other word, it also carries the meaning of THE POINT OF VIEW. =)
We will come across this phenomena anytime at anywhere, especially when you are required to give opinions about a particular thing. Then, different people will have different perceptions. For instance, Eli, a girl, is short. Some people will think that she is SHORT, not a girl's perfect height, not perfect. But, for some other people, they might think that Eli is cute. short = cute. So, this proves that different people have different point of view.
Next, a very common example. A box.
What do you see in this picture? What appears in your mind at the first second you saw this cube? Some people might see it as a box, just a box. But some people might take it as a square with 6 surfaces. They interpret it in different ways.
These, excites the Mooncake Festival~ there is a open house at my aunt house yesterday. all of the chong members did attend to this gathering. i used to enjoy and love joining the family gathering. Happy to see all my aunty uncle and cousins which can only meet them during 'big' day. Enjoy playing with the baby cousin. Enjoy chating with my cousins who their age no much different from me. Enjoy those yummy food prepared by those auntyS. Enjoy listening jokes from my uncle. he is a very humour person. wherever the place he exists, for sure there lots of laughter. XD
all the kids is playing lantern as well as lighten up the colourful candle at courtyard. those candle makes the courtyard looks 'romantic' ha! whereas, elderly are enjoying their chinese tea and mooncake at the round mable table which right middle in courtyard. Surrounding is covering with non-stop laughter.
suddenly.. i saw a hunchback indian aunty standing opposite the road and looking at all of us.. its quite scary.. as she keep staring at us with her shinning eyes. then, she is walking slowing toward us with her hunchback. its looks painful.. felt kesian to her ,as in this big big day, i am celebrating this festival with all my family. but.. where is her family?? why is she walking alone down the street at this time?? *the watch is actually pointing at 10 sth dy* why she looks so lonely??
then my uncle came.. Happy mooncake festival!! my humour uncle said. the aunty said nothing. she is just nodding and smiling with all of us. we are looking at her with full of curiousity perhaps. my uncle tried to talk with her.. yet, she is still saying nothing and just reply us with her attractive smile. ha! finally. my uncle realize that she is deaf, perhaps she is dumb too. Aww~~ kesiannya~
then my uncle invite her to have pieces of mooncake and drinks as well.. before she goes, she waves with us! smiling with tears of gratitute perhaps.. haha..
tis year's mooncake festival is much more different from others. as this year i had experience a non-verbal communication with 'stranger'. i realize that it is very lucky enough to have the chance celebrate festival with family. i really appreciate the time begin together with my family.
The previous post, i posted about verbal communication. Therefore, now, i will post about non-verbal communication. YES.. That's right..
Now, what is non-verbal communication? For some people out there would be thinking, how can one communication without talking or what-so-ever.. Now, let me tell you. According to wikipedia, non-verbal communication is usually understood as the process of communication through sending and receiving wordless messages.
Such message can be communicated through body language, eye contact, gestures, facial expression or physical appearance, for instance, hair styles or clothing. Speech may also contain nonverbal elements known as paralanguage such as emotion and the way you speak. For example, for people who are unfortunately cannot talk and speak out, they use sign language to communicate which is also considered as non-verbal communication. However, these people are very sensitive to the surrounding.
Another example would be baby communication. When a baby is at the stage where he is not able to talk and express out what he wants, he will do non-verbal communication too. Have a look at the picture below.
oops.. abit blur.. it's okay. just to let you know there is something like this.
I would like to share an article with you guys here. Found it from http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm Ted, Arlene and Jack are all articulate speakers who say one thing but communicate another with disastrous results in their relationships:
Ted thought he had found the perfect love relationship when he met Sharon, but Sharon isn’t so sure. Ted is very eligible. He is nice-looking, hardworking, and a smooth talker. The trouble is that Ted seems to talk more to himself than to Sharon. When Sharon has something to say, Ted is ready with a reply before she finishes her thought. This makes Sharon feel ignored, and she has begun dating other men. Ted loses out at work for the same reason – his inability to listen to others makes him unpopular with many of the people he most admires.
Arlene is attractive and has no problem meeting eligible men – it’s keeping them that’s the problem! Arlene is funny and a good conversationalist, but even though she laughs and smiles constantly, she radiates tension. Arlene’s shoulders and eyebrows are noticeably raised, her voice is shrill and her body stiff to touch. Being around Arlene makes many people feel uncomfortable. Arlene has a lot going for her that is undercut by the discomfort she evokes in others.
Jack gets along with his colleagues at work, but not with those who matter most to him. If you were to ask them why, they would say that Jack is “too intense”. Rather than look at you, he devours you with his eyes. And if he takes your hand, he lunges to get it and then squeezes so hard it hurts. Jack is a caring guy but has a terrible time being in sync with people. This awkwardness also limits his ability to advance to a managerial level at work. He just isn’t seen as good with others.
ps: All of these articulate, well-intended people struggle in their attempt to connect with others. None of them are aware of the non-verbal messages they communicate.
Week2! 2nd week of our new semester!
We ( Nanda, Su-Queen, Nicholas & I ) who were in the same group for Tutorial A, were assigned by Mr. Murali to prepare an activity on week 1 for our next tutorial (week2's).
Someone, forgotten who was the one who suggested to play the game 'cluedo'.
This game here is related to our topic of the week, PERCEPTION So yea, we were actually having a 'trial' cluedo on wednesday to try out and ensure that all of our group members are clear about the game since we'll be the host on our next tutorial.
4th September (Tutorial A) :
in the theathrette
Cluedo's Board
The rules for Cluedo :
Detective Notes
Dr. Black - found dead on Saturday evening at approximately 8.45pm. The body was found at the foot of the stairs leading to the cellars, on a spot marked "X". Miss Scarlett found the body. Apparently, her screams were heard in the village nearby! Does Miss Scarlett protest too much?
Cause of death has yet to be determined, but there are several likely objects around the house that could have been used:
Dagger - found in the lounge
Candlestick - found in the dining room
Revolver - found in the study
Rope - found in the ballroom
Lead Pining - found in the conservatory
Spanner - found in the kitchen
WE ACTUALLY REPLACED THE ABOVE WEAPONS WITH
DOLPHIN DOLL
the cards were all done by su-queen! soO creative!! (:
BELT
CROWN
POMPOM
WALKING STICK
WOODEN KATANA
(Oooppsieee! ive got no pics of the above items, probably it's because im only obsessed with dolphins so yea, who cares bout the other items? hahaa! )
Oh by the way,
Chief suspects have to be the guests who are here for the weekend. They are:
Col. Mustard (Yellow)
Prof. Plum (Purple)
Rev. Green (Green)
Mrs. Peacock (Blue)
Miss Scarlett (Red)
Mrs. White (White)
WE ALSO REPLACED THE ABOVE SUSPECTS WI
8">Afro Samurai : Nanda! Ooppss nanda, sorry, no picture of your character ):
Sushi Queen : Su-Queen!
Playboy : Nicholas!
Dolphin Girl : Christine!
Cheerleader : Woei Lin!
Iron Man : Eugene!
Here's the RULES for CLUEDO from one of the sites. (:
The Game
HOW TO SOLVE THE MYSTERY
At the beginning of the game, a character, weapon and room card will be placed secretly into the murder's envelope.
To solve the mystery you must find out…
Who committed the crime;
What was the weapon used; and
In which room the crime was committed.
(The three cards in the envelope will reveal the answers.)
You will be dealt with some card. (Don't let the other players see these cards!) You can immediately eliminate these characters, rooms and weapons from your investigation.
During the game, move from room to room to make your enquiries. Once inside a room, make a "suggestion" on your turn by calling a character and a weapon into the room. You can then question your fellow players as, one by one, ask them to reveal if they have a card that matches the room you're in or the character and weapon you've named in your suggestion. Your turn ends when one of these is matched by another player's card.
Keep note of your findings and carry on playing.
By clever deduction, you'll eventually be ready to make an accusation. Will you be first to reveal the answer to the mystery?
The Investigation
SETTING THE SCENE FOR THE INVESTIGATION
Carefully remove the character playing pieces from their plastic frames. If you have difficulty use safety scissors. Fix each character into its corresponding coloured base. Follow the numbers shown in the Detective Notes to match the right base with the right character. [M&M: In previous versions of the game, characters are represented by pieces of the correct colour - you do not have to fit things together.] Place all six playing pieces on their corresponding START spaces around the board. NOTE: Spare playing pieces fall under suspicion just the same as the pieces in play, and can therefore be called into rooms by players making suggestions.
Place the weapons in the rooms where they were found at the beginning of the investigation. See Detective Notes.
Shuffle the six character cards then take the top card and secretly place it in the "Murder Envelope". Do the same with the room cards and weapon cards. You should end up with three random cards in the murder envelope: one character card, one weapon card and one room card.
Shuffle the remaining cards together, making sure none of the cards are seen by any of the players. Deal all the cards to all the players. Some players may receive more cards than others according to the number of players in the game. These players will start the game with a slight advantage.
Each player takes a sheet from the Detective Notebook. You will use this to eliminate characters, weapons and rooms. Keep it covered throughout the game. Don't let the other players see who or what you have eliminated from your enquiries.
PLAYING DETECTIVES
Choose the playing piece which is closest to you on the board to be your character. You will move this character around the board.
Each player rolls one die. The highest number goes first [M&M: In previous versions of the game, Miss. Scarlett moves first - as she discovered the body.] Play then continues clockwise.
On your turn - roll both dice and move that number of spaces around the board.
Entering a room
When you enter a room, you can immediately make a suggestion. You do this by calling into the room any character or weapon involved in you deduction.
For example, you enter the conservatory and call in Professor Plum and the spanner. (Place the Professor Plum playing piece and the spanner in the conservatory.) Now make you suggestion - "I suggest it was Professor Plum, in the conservatory, with the spanner".
Hint: A player's piece may remain in the same room for as many turns as it takes to eliminate that room from the investigation.
Answering a suggestion
If the player to your right makes a suggestion, and you have at least one of the cards mentioned, you must show one of these cards secretly to this player.
If you don't have any, the enquiry passes to the next player and so on, until one of the cards has been shown to the player making the suggestion.
At certain times in the game, particularly near the end, it is possible that none of the players will have any of the cards mentioned in the suggestion.
Making your deductions
Before you make a suggestion you must be clear about what information you want to obtain. Are you trying to find the culprit? Do you want to eliminate a room or are you searching to find the murder weapons?
If you search for general clues you may want to mention those characters, rooms and weapons that you don't hold in you hand!
If on the other hand, you are trying to eliminate a specific character, you could include in you suggestion a weapon card and a room card that you hold in your hand. If nobody has the character you name, you can safely assume that this is in the murder envelope and the character in your suggestion is therefore the murderer. If another player shows you the character card, eliminate this character from you investigation by crossing the name from your list of suspects in your Detective Notebook.
The Accusation
MEANS, MOTIVE, OPPORTUNITY!
Keep moving you playing piece around the board, making suggestions when you enter rooms, until you think you know the answer to the three questions:
Who committed the crime?
What was the weapon used? and
In which room the crime was committed?
Having made a suggestion, you can in the same turn, make an accusation.
To make an accusation, write down the answer to the three questions in your Detective Notebook. You must be sure, as you can only make one accusation in the game.
Once you have written down the answers, look in the envelope to confirm you suspicions.
If you are correct
Reveal the three cards to the other players and declare yourself "Super Slueth".
If you make a wrong accusation
Replace the three cards in the envelope, making sure none of the other players sees the murder cards. You must remain in the game to answer the other players' suggestions. You can't make another suggestion or accusation.
Ooopppsiiieee! sorry for the delayed post! *arrgghh* Anyway, here's a recap on what we did in last 2 week's human comm's class!
First chapter for the week explains that one of the reasons we communicate is to persuade others to view ourselves as we want to be seen.
What is communication?
Communication is defined as a process by which we assign meaning in an attempt to create shared understanding.
It introduced four communication contexts which includes intrapersonal, dyadic, small group and public. The chapter also identifies several types of needs that communication satisfies such as physical, identity, social and practical.
Examples of
a) intrapersonal communication
communicating with one-self. (communicates internally)
b) Dyadic communication (most common type of communication)
Dyadic communication, which is also known as interpersonal communication. It differs from other forms of communication in that there are few participants involved. One of the reasons why we engage in interpersonal communication is so that we can gain knowledge about another individual and also helps us better understand what someone says in a given context.
c) Small Group Communication(common fixture of everyday life which involves 3-5 people)
everyone can participate actively with other members.
d) Public communication
this is when group becomes large for members to contribute.
e) Mass communication ( one to millions ) is a message created by
a person
or
a group of people
sent through a transmitting device to a large audience or market.
Few days ago, i went to college by public transport. That day i actually late to college since i am having 8 o'clock class. *omg! i still cannot used to it ler.. i have to wake up before sunrise!* Well, back to my topic, during my "journey" in the public transport. there is 2 women quarreling loudly at the bus. At first, i thought it was the sounds come from the televison. Just a second after, their sound is become more and more reality.. so, i have a glance to the television and it shows... *i din't put much attention to the advertisement* some morality advertisement i guess. >.<>> thats the middle part i guess..
A: " kenapa u tolak i??!!"
*as i admit, the 'limited' space in the bus is quite narrow at the this hour.. almost everyone is hugging each other. i might exaggerated abit. JUST a little bit.. ha! when the bus make a turn, sure lar tolak tolak abit mar*
B:" u ni siapa?! awak ingat u ni siapa?!" " kenapa i tolak u?!"
i cant hear what A saying.. oh no! both of them is not Saying. they are screaming loudly..
B:" u diam lar! *bla bla bla lot*
A:"...." *she is quiet dy..*
B:"diam lar u!" and lot more word that very hurt people..
although B the one asking A keep quiet, but B the one keep mumbling mumbling and mumbling.. =.="
their malay just too good. *i cant understand all what they are screaming* their voice is like a machine gun. what i trying to mean is when they speaks, the words come out like the staccato chatter of a machine gun. >.< perhaps, the speed at which their words come out from their mouth would put any M14 to shame. people who standing beside them might just have to cover their face just to prevent the spray of their high speed saliva.
after a while, the bus stop at the stand somewhere near oppossite of wisma help. then A get down from the bus. wad a shock! A is pointing her middle finger to the bus. * i duno who is her actually pointing at* wad flash in my mind is how can a women act so rude.. =.=''
two of them is just a stranger.. how can..?? for me, it sound ridiculous..
thats a example of miscommunication. according to thetreedictionary. miscommunication is define as :
1. Lack of clear or adequate communication. 2. An unclear or inadequate communication.
miscommunication happen when the sender and receiver do not came to the same level of agreement about the indicated reality in existence. To conclude, miscommunication is disharmony.
1. The act or faculty of apprehending by means of the senses or of the mind; cognition; understanding.
2. Immediate or intuitive recognition or appreciation, as of moral, psychological, or aesthetic qualities; insight; intuition; discernment: an artist of rare perception.
3. The result or product of perceiving, as distinguished from the act of perceiving; percept.
Or in plain simple Malaysian English, "You look at the fella and you go yerrrrr why look like that one or aiyooo why dress like that one?!" or something similiar to both of that.
Yes. I think everybody is guilty of percieving others in a purposefully crooked way. Some might even go bitchin' to their girl-friends and buddies about the people they had came across.
Let's say you bump into this guy:
I know there will be 2 things that would definitely cross you mind.
No.1: "OMG! Su-Queen is sooo good at art! I hope she can teach me a thing or two about Paint on Microsoft!" No.2: "Yeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. So nerd. Haha!"
Well how about this couple?:
"That guy must be freaking loaded,yo."
"That girl is probably a transvestite lah."
"TWAS AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE I SAY!"
What about this couple? :
Not sure what the guys would think but the women would probably have alot to say! Especially aunty's,who would make nasty comments like, " Haiyoooo. That man in his country sure no woman want him so he come here horny horny to get sexy asian girls larh".
See the pattern in the situations? LOPSIDED PERCEPTIONS.
That nerdy-looking boy might just have different interests from the rest of us,like loving Dota so much until he bought a shirt that states so. And his parents might have forced him to put on braces because without it,he might look like a fluffy bunny. And maybe he's wearing glasses because he might've read too many books way too close to his face when he was younger. But who knows,he might be pretty damn good in foosball or he might be like a suave Casanova or something to the ladies ;)
For the 1st couple, that chubby man just might be a gentleman who treats his woman with respect the way all the women in the world should be treated. Or he might've saved her from a very bad life.
For the 2nd couple however,well,the white dude might've met the asian chick while they were both working overseas and it might've been love at first sight. Or he might've been in trouble at one time and she might've stood by him through the rough times and made him realise that she was the only one for him and that he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life?
So many possibilities.
You may never know all these things unless you get to know all of them,without perceiving them negatively first.
So next time,why don't you get to know that girl at college who dresses like a weirdo or that queer boy who likes to talk to himself. You may never know how they might surprise you :)
**ALL PICTURES ARE LOVINGLY DRAWN & COPYRIGHTED BY SU-QUEEN. ALL THE CHARACTERS ARE FICTION. I APOLOGIZE IF I HAVE OFFENDED ANYONE WHO LOOKS LIKE THE CHARACTERS ABOVE. I DIDN'T MEAN TOO. SORRY.**
Basically, I have no idea what we should post about. I've visited some other blogs but still, i have nothing in mind.
Well, perhaps i shall talk something about human communication, no, narrow it down to verbal communication. What is it? Verbal communication is one way for people to communicate face-to-face. Some of the key components of verbal communication are sound, words, speaking, and language. Verbal communications can be categorized into several types which include interpersonal communication, intrapersonal communication, public speaking and more.
At birth, most of us have vocal cords which produce sounds obviously. For example, as a child grows, it learns how to form this sound into words and sentences where these words may be imitative of natural sounds and also from expression of emotions such as laughter or crying.
Verbal communication helps human being to speak out what they think, how they feel and who they are. One of the awesome thing about verbal communication would be it helps to eliminate misunderstandings, AT TIMES. Yet, there are cases where people try to solve misunderstandings through speaking, unfortunately, things become worse.
The picture above shows that people often create misunderstandings ACCIDENTALLY by communicating WRONGLY. Sometimes we do use words that are not appropriate or correct, but i believe we do not mean what the other party thinks, which is usually negative. So, i think we can actually 'blame' the so called 'verbal communication' for bringing such unwanted misunderstandings at times. So people, think before you speak. Whatever you speak might affect the way how people think about you.
