Communication and relational dynamics

Interpersonal relationships involve the way one deal with another socially. There are so many people in this world, but how come we are only attracted to a certain kind of people but not others?

We form relationships with other due to attraction to each other, the need for intimacy and perceived rewards and compliments.

What are we atrracted to? How does attraction form?

First of all, similarity and complementary. At most of the time, we look for people who are similar to us, as in characterisitics, behaviour, attitude and beliefs. We tend to join people with the same background as us, because similarities are the real foundation for a long term relationships although differences may add spice to a relationship. Complementary needs are those that fit together in a mutually satisfying way.



Next is competence. Most of us like to be around with talented people. I read an article which mention that to gain the liking of others, we have to be good at what we do, but also not forgetting to admit the mistakes we do. We are also attracted to people we perceive as competent, credible, and display charisma.



Disclosure is also another factor. I believe that all of you guys here know that by revealing some information about yourself can help build liking. But bare this in mind, when people share private and important information about themselves to you, it means he respect and trust you. Therefore, we have to becareful with our disclosing tho.



Since shermaine mentioned something about the relationail development and maintanence, i'll just talk about, what are the skills for escalating and maintaining relationships.

• Be open and self-disclose appropriately (disclose yourself, but also be open to other’s disclosure - you really need those two sides of the coin)
• express emotions (a particular form of self-disclosure, expressing emotions can continue relational escalation)
• engage in relationship talk (talk about the nature, quality, direction, or definition of a relationship - don’t start too early. If you talk it does show your interest and commitment)
• monitor your perceptions (effective perception can enhance your ability to understand and adapt to your partner as a relationship escalates)
• listen actively and respond confirmingly (listening is a way to demonstrate an on-going interest in another person)
• socially decenter and adapt (can you see the situation and the person from their view?),
  be tolerant and show restraint (learn to accept others for who they are - and put up with things you dislike)
• manage conflict cooperatively (Don’t avoid conflict altogether, but work through it
• seek compliance (use persuasive strategies to accomplish your personal goals. Get you own way)

PS: This is not my opinions. I just get it from a website. So, if there is any inappropriate or what-so-ever thing, dun look for me. =)

As we know, not every relationship is long-lasting. Unfortunately, some relationships will only last for few months, or even few weeks, which is very very extremely terrible and horrible. OUCH!

What lead to the end of a relationship?

It may just fade away when the relationship dissolves slowly as intimacy declines.

When a relationship experiences a sudden death which means it ends abruptly, usually in response to some precipitating event.

And also experiences incrementalism. This happens when both parties do not speak out whenever they face problems, or arguments without a proper solution, they would just accumulate all the conflicts and problems until one day, any one of the parties cannot tolerate anymore and boom!, the end of the relationship. =(

-Michelle Tan-