Group & Power

most of the lecturer have assign us in group assignment. for example like human comm assignment lor.. i hav group together with christine, su-queen and michelle since the week 4 in the lecture. we are group together to accomplish d tasks given such as the weekly blog, and the movie assignment as well. we having the same group goal among each members. we wish to complete the assignment as soon as possible. ha! and tomoro is the due date lor.. lalala.. ^^

among the 4 types of the groups, such as, learning groups, growth groups, probelm-solving groups and social groups. our group is definitely the probelm solving group. we are given the specific tasks to tackle and accomplishes the specific task before deadline.
*'anyone can be the problem solving groups once they face obstacle' said mr murali*

throughout the assignment, the desicion making method we are using is consensus. each of the members are given the opportunities to express their views and suggestions in decision making. all the members are actively participating as well.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.
power is the ability to influence others to behave in particualr ways.
there are many types of leadership and power in groups
foe examples, legitimate power, coercive power, reward power, expert power, informatiion power and referent power.
according to the textbook,
legitimate power (postion power) arises from the title one holds.
coercive power that is derived from n individual's abiltiy to threaten negative outcomes.
reward power are occurs when others is influenced by the grant of promise of desirable consequences.
expert power occurs when we are influenced by people that we belief that they know and they have the exyensive knowledge in one or more areas.
information power comes when a member's knowledge is able to help the group reach the goal.
referent power comes from the respect and trust others have towards a member.

the leadership style in our group is laissez-faire (free-rein style). laissez-faire is stands for 'leave it alone' in french.
we have no specific leader in the group. we distributed the task and are given freedom to accomplish it.

finally, the asignment is done! i am glad to work with my members, they are such a friendly person. ^^ thanks girls!



-chong wen hui-

mental disorder?

i very often talk to myself recently..

intrapersonal communication.. ha! *is that a euphemism term? it sound nice*

dysphemism term to says it is mental disorder lar..

during MTE~

"why you din study??"

"cant you put more effort or attention when you are doing revision?"

after MTE~

"hows my result?"

"will it very bad?"

i hope that my result is not that bad than i thought lar..

though my self-fulfilling prohecy (which defines as a prediction or expectation of oneself that makes an outcome more likely to occur than would otherwise have been the case) telling me that i am gonna scored badly.

result released~

before view-ing my result

"a lots of hopefully floating in my mind"

after view-ing the result

"phiew~ you worry too much dy"

ok lar study comes out ok lar result lor.. ha!

i cant expect much on that since i not putting much effort..

now~

assignment! quiz! assignment!

assignment have ruined my holiday off.. ish!

business principle research!

human communication assignment!

criticle thinking assignment!

malaysian study quiz & assignment!

luckily, yesterday i had done my advanced eng research paper.. *finally*

again~ intrapersonal to myself..

"can i finish the 3 assignment at just 1 week?"

*exclude the CTS ler*

"why there are only 24 hours in a day??"

"why historian make it 24 hours ONLY, why not 30 or 40??"

"yesh! left 1 month++, i done my sem 2.. tadaa to stressful sem 2!!"

desperately look forward for that day!!

-chong wen hui-

Understanding Interpersonal Relationships

Chapter 6 - Understanding Interpersonal Relationships

Interpersonal Relationships are connections or affiliations between two people. The word “relationship” is one of many words that people use, but have a hard time defining. The dictionary defines it as, “a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings.”Handling interpersonal relationships
Interpersonal relationships can bring the greatest happiness as well as the greatest pain to an individual's life.

MOTIVES FOR INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

1. Pleasure
2. Affection
3. Inclusion
4. Escape
5. Relaxation
6. Control
   

Types of Interpersonal Relationship

We define types of interpersonal relationships in terms of relational contexts of interaction and the types of expectations that communicators have of one another.

1. Friendship - Theories of friendship emphasize the concept of friendship as a freely
chosen association

2. Family - Family communication patterns establish roles, identities and enable the growth of individuals. Family dysfunction may also be exhibited by
communication patterns.

3. Romantic - Romantic relationships are defined in terms of the concepts of passion,

intimacy and commitment.

4. Proffesional Relationships - Professional communication encompasses small group

communication and interviewing.

5. Interpersonal Competence- Assess interpersonal effectiveness in various types of

relationships and contexts.

Types of Conflict

Conflict are formed through negative experiences we have with the person. The stronger our negative ideas become the worse any conflict we may have with that person will become.

Psychological Conflict (internal conflict)
this type of conflict could be going on inside the person and no one would know ( instinct may be at odds with values)
Freud would say unconscious id battling superego, according to Freud our personalities are always in conflict.

Social Conflict
interpersonal conflict- two individuals me against you; intergoup struggles -us against them;individual opposing a group- me against them, them against me; intragroup conflict- members of group all against each other on a task
Approach-Avoidance
conflict can be describe as having features of approach and avoidance: approach-approach conflict; avoidance-avoidance conflict; approach-avoidance conflict
Approach-Approach Conflict
two desirable things are wanted, but only one option can be chosen ( example: desirable date Or ski trip)"I want this but I also want that."
Avoidance- avoidance Conflict
two unattractive alternatives ( example: study or do the dishes "I don't want his and I don't want that
Approach- Avoidance Conflict
attractive and unattractive parts to both sides "I want this but I don't want what this entails"
Functional vs Dysfunctional Conflict
Dysfunctional Conflict: when conflict disrupts and upsets personal psychological
functioning
Functional Conflict: conflict can be responsive in creativity. Determine if
conflict achieves goals or undermines them

Characteristics of interpersonal relationships

How do interpersonal relationships differ from impersonal relationships?

• interpersonal relationships are those in which the people base their predictions on psychologicaldata,
  
• Interpersonal relationships have both advantages and disadvantages.
  

- advantages are that interpersonal relationships help endure loneliness, enable you to secure stimulation, help you to gain self-knowledge and enhance your self-esteem, and enable you to maximize pleasure and minimize pain.

- disadvantages are that interpersonal relationships put pressure on you to reveal yourself to others; impose significant financial, emotional, and temporal obligations; may present difficulties in dissolving.

Self-disclosure in interpersonal relationships

Self-disclosure is not simply providing information to another person. Instead, scholars define self-disclosure as sharing informatoin with others that they would not normally know or discover. Self-disclosure also involves risk on the part of the person sharing theinformation.



Functions of Self-disclosure
It is a way of gaining information from another person. We want to be able to predict the action of people that we know. Self-disclosure is a way to learn how another person think or feel. Once the person is engaged in self-disclosure, the person will also disclose personal information.


Risks of Self-disclosure
there are also risks for self-disclosure. One of it is the person will not respond favorably to the information. Too much self-disclosure that comes too early in a relationship can damage the relationship. Loss of control and influence is also another risk of self-disclosure.



Guidelines for self-disclosure

1. Is the other person important to you? - self-disclosure may be the path toward developing a personal relationship
2. Is the risk of self-disclosure reasonable?
3. Is the self-disclosure appropriate? - Be sensitive to the timing of a message
4. Is the disclosure relevant to the situation at hand?
5. Is the disclosure reciprocated?
6. Will the effect be constructive?
7. Is the self-disclosure clear and understandable?
   

Alternatives to Self-disclosure

1. Lying

- to save face
- to avoid conflict
- to gain power

2. Equivocation

- Equivocal language has two or more equally plausible meanings

3. Hinting

- more direct than equivocal statements
- A hint to get response from other person






CHRISTINE

Nonverbal communication

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION
MR. MURALI taught us this chapter in week 5!





Many of us believe the old saying "don't judge the book by its cover". Everyday people tell others about themselves with out even opening their mouths. This is accomplished by nonverbal communication.










What is nonverbal communication?
The first image that pops into their mind is a picture of a person who is deaf or someone who cannot speak and has learned to communicate through sign language or other nonverbal means of communication. Most people are not aware that in reality almost 30% of communication between human beings is nonverbal and that it exists in our everyday conversations.
Nonverbal communication includes all unwritten and unspoken messages. Both intentional and unintentional messages.
Nonverbal communication is used daily in everybody’s lives. Whether a person wants to or not.



Nonverbal communication speaks louder than words.

Why does nonverbal communication speak louder than words in close relationships?
Thisis because it takes more than words to create exciting and secure relationships.





Most important nonverbal cues

1. Eye contact - helps regulate theflow of communication.

1. Facial expression - Smiling is a hint of happiness,armth and also friendliness.

1. Gestures - If you fail to gesture while speaking, you may be identified as boring or
   

stiff. lol.

4. Postures - You communicate by the way you walk, talk stand or sit but not
leaning slightly forward.
5. Environment - The way you arrange oject in the environment. tables, chairs, etc...
The environment affect the level of your comfort.





Functions of nonverbal communication

1. to replace and substitute
2. to regulate
3. to contradict
4. to complement and illustrate

Words are accented by body movement, whereas face shows expressions.





CHRISTINE

Listening

This topic was what we learned in week 4.

LISTENING!!

Paying close attention to, and making sense of what we hear







MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT LISTENING
You have two ears and a mouth. Therefore, you should listen twice as much as you speak! Has anyone tell u that if two people sat down for a discussion and followed that principle, there would be a total silence! However, there are also some people who need to practice keeping their mouth shit, but some need to practice speakin out!

Listening is a little bit more complex than most of us realize. This is probably the biggest misconception about listening. Most of us believe that we are listening, in fact we are not, or doing some other thing ineffectively. Listening requires the focusing of attention, being open and wanting to really understand another person. These things n the other requirements for effective listening need to be practiced, and learned, effort needs to be made too.





Top 5 Misconceptions about listening

1. Listening is a matter of intelligence.
* Careful listening is a learned behavior

2. Speakin is a more important part of the communication process than listening.
* Speakin and listenin are equally important

3. Listening is easy and requires little energy.

4. Listening is a only a matter of understanding speaker's words.
* Nonverbal communication also helps the speaker to understnad the message sent.

5. Speakers are able to command listening.
* Speakers cannot really make a person listen.

Most Irritating Listening Habits
1. Rushing the speaker and making he feel that he is wasting the listener's time.
2. Interrupting the speaker.
3. Not looking at the speaker.
4. Not responding to the speaker's request.
5. Showing interest in something other than what the speaker is saying.
6. Forgetting wat was talked bout previously.
7. Asking too many questions about details.




THE LISTENING PROCESS

Listening and Hearing are not the same thing

1. Listening is active. Hearing is passive.
2. Listening is emotional. Hearing is passionless.
3. Listening means u tune in specifically for something. Hearing means u/re listening in part to avoid hearing something.
   
4. Listening is i know i care bout u. Hearing means i only care about myself and i don wanna know anything about u.
5. Hearing is being aware of what the person is talking. It doesnt requires thinking.
   Listening requires concentration so that your brain processes meaning from words and sentences. Listening leads to learning.

HEARING

The vibration of sound waves on the eardrums

REASONS FOR POOR LISTENING

1. People tend to listen selectively, hearing only what they expect to hear, or would like to hear, or fear hearing. They tend to eliminate details. This is known as selective listening.
2. Daydreaming is probably the most common listening problem because it affects everyone. There are lots of opportunities for daydreaming because the speaker's speed of talking is so much slower than our speed of us thinking.
3. Memorizing is a problem that happens when listeners try to memorize every word the instructor says. These are usually students who are stressed, and in their goal to listen well. We all should know that there is no way we can remember what the instructor says.
4. People tend to listen best to the beginning and end of what is said. Least concentration in the middle.
   
5. Distracted easily.
6. Feeling anxious, angry, distressed, upset, stressed, ill, too hot.

GOOD LISTENING SKILLS

1. Prepare to listen - Your attitude in attending class is generally important. . If you feel that a particular class is generally a waste of your time, you obviously won't be in a good mood to listen.
   
2. has 2-3 ways to take notes and organize important information.
3. Knows how to fights distractions.
4. showing an active body state. This is meant by do not lean down or show a dead-looking face while talkin to the speaker.
   
5. Eye contact is a very important part of the active listening process. Of course,jotting down notes is helpful ; however, when you look away, you'll be aware of distractions that draws your attention away from the lecturer .
6. Listening for the main idea.

INFORMATIONAL LISTENING

1. Listening for information means listening for facts. The key is to first identify the main
   idea being expressed and then the supporting ideas offered by the speaker.
2. Looking for key ideas.
3. Jotting down ideas.
4. Paraphrase.
5. Ask Questions.

EMPHATIC LISTENING

Empathic listening is listening for feelings and the goal is to build relationship and to solve problem. It is required when the speaker needs to develop a coping method for their
feeling or problem. For example a coach may need to listen empathically to
an athlete who has just been deselected. The challenge for the listener is to put aside
their own feelings and try to understand the speakers’s point of view. ( putting yourself into another person's shoes ).



COMPREHENSIVE LISTENING

1. Understand the speaker's message.
2. Summarize informations.
3. Identify main points.

CRITICAL LISTENING

Listening to evaluate a message for purpose of accepting or rejecting it. Besides, also to provide meaningful feedback.


ACTIVE LISTENING
Active listeners give their attention to undivided attention to a speaker.




CHRISTINE

~Milo Beach~

during raya holiday, i went Port Dickson ler.. *sound like going to relaxing, but actually we ( family and i) are visiting my auntie who warding in hospital dy* the time is quite rush as my dad is having meeting tomorrow at KL. and our schedule is coming back to KL next morning. so that papa get to meeting with his partners. but then mummy said, so far come from KL, did not visit the 'popular beach' is like not really you had visit port dickson.. somemore it doesn't charge you much.. * sorry lar, direct translate from chinese, sound weird bit de lar.. * ha! so, tomorrow morning we get to 'see see' at the milo beach. and we have a night at my auntie house.

~~~ the next morning ~~~

we reach milo beach lor! actually i am quite happy as i have a lot of childhood memories with my cousins happen here.
everything had changed.
the big, old, 'lemon tree' is still there, just that it has become 'fatter', older perhaps. * i saw the lemon tree's 'skin' is peeled. sure very painful huh.
the sea is stil there. ha! just that it become more and more milo.. concentrated milo. why are we saying that is milo beach ar.. coz ar, the sea water damn milo! and there is a small story happen last time....
once upon a time... ... ...
my brother spilled a full tin of milo into the beach.. if wanna find out who is the one who causing the milo become concentrated milo, perhaps, my brother is the one.. ha!

we managed to see the beauty of sunrise at milo beach o..






















i saw lot of communication at the beach there o..
there are small group communication as there is a group of worker having briefing somewhere near the beach there. then, there is also interpersonal commnuication, as the couple there *duno what they are talking lar* then perhaps, intrapersonal communication. i am sure the sea is seeking for help as well. 'help me! who can save me from being concentrated milo!! i want some fresh water in my body!!' *wah! so good imagination lar me* XD


chong wen hui ( shermaine)

Sea Cucumber~

remembered, last year i think.. i went leisure mall ( somewhere near cheras) with my family.. chinese new year is just around the corner, so we went there to buy new shirt, i think. * this not the think i wana tell ler, not that fresh in my mind*




the thing (conflict) i wana tell is happen in the wet market at groundfloor.




that day, there is a big promotion for buying sea cucumber.. i dun remember the price but is cheap lar.. cause all the aunty aunty is rush to buy the cheap sea cucumber.. got 2 aunty even scramble for one quite big size sea cucumber.. one pulling the 'head' and one pulling the 'tail'..omg! *there is still lot more there ler, why not choose another* yet, they are still scrambling. other aunty and uncle no ntime to care about them oso, they just continue their business in choosing the sea cucumber. guess what happen to the big size cucumber? the 2 aunty dun even wan to concede to each other.. so, finally!! the sea cucumber break to two!! the funniest thing is after the sea cucumber break, they put back into the basket *who want to purchase a cacat-ed sea cucumber lar*.. and laughing to each other!! =.= i think they are thinking 'ha! u din let me get, i dun let u get oso!!' haha! this is kind of lose-lose probelm solving i think.. 2 of the aunty losses because din get the big sized sea cucumber.




Conclusion. dun ever be the big sized sea cucumber! *die also duno what happen* ha!









**win-win probelm solving will happen if the aunty A concede the sea cucumber to aunty B, result, happy ending lor.. as aunty A happy, aunty B also happy.. the most important thing is, the sea cucumber wont break! it will get to finish it life with great contribution of mineral in human health.. ha!

regards.

chong wenhui (shermaine) XD

Liar..

lies..

it is hard to believe that no one never never telling lie in this world.. except for monk? perhaps..

there are many kind of lies..

• fabrication- submits a statement as truth, without knowing whether or not it actually is true


• bold-faced lie


• lying by omission


• lie-to-children- told to make an adult subject acceptable to children


• white lie (altruistic lie)- being harmless, or even helpful, to the person to whom they are told.

Examples:-

• noble lie


• emergency lie- strategic lie told when the truth may not be told


• perjury


• bluffing
  
• exaggeration- occurs when most fundamental aspect of a statement is true, but in certain degree.


• jocose lie- for example, teasing and sarcasm.


• promotion lie- mostly happen in the advertisment. it usually contain statement which is incredible.
  

reference from wikipedia :

~.... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie ....~

why do people telling lie? are they have no alternative but to do? or just with an intention to lie at other.. my brother even tell me that people lie just for fun.. =.= *nonsence*

the reason of people telling lies is to acquire resources, initiate and continue interaction, to avoid conflict, to avoid interaction or take leave, to present a competent image, as well as increases social desirability. nevertheless, protect resources is also another reason of telling lie.. that why my little brother always do it just to avoid punishment from mama.. aha!

posted by,

chong wenhui (shermaine)

SHAKY presentation..

this tuesday, 30th of september, i had done my persuasive speaking.. ough! i done very badly in that presentation..


i had introduce my big invention SHAKY to all my coursemate.. aha!


my shaky got quite lots of features.. waterproof.. shockproof.. soundproof.. zero radio frequency (RF) radiation.. kenetic functioned *at first i think of solar powered dee.. but then solar is like too common dy, all people using that point.. so, i thought of kinetic functioned ler, lagi environmental freindly!! ha! save time + save electricity* 3D videocall.. voise recognisation system..


this product really meet public demand ler.. =p



d soundproof system huh, actually i got the idea from Get Smart movie..



there is the scene that the agents are using soundproof system when they are having a confidental meeting..

its quite ridiculous, but, if it is really having this product in realitiy, isn't very good?! ha!

i realise the feeling standing infront and all people stare all you is... the brain just suddenly become blank.. ha!
what you have prepared can just forget in that moment..
is presentation is kind of public communication? or small group communication?
Seriously, and hopefully, my presentation skills get to improved after finish this subject ler.. XD

cheers..

chong wenhui ( shermaine)

Language

helloooooo!! Oooopss.. was absent from this blog for like. weeeks??
ahh sorrry!

This is Mr. Murali.
haha!

Anyway, this was what we did in tutorial class on the 3rd week of our semester!

This activity was based on the topic of the week which was LANGUAGE!

Presentation time!

LANGUAGE.
Almost all human beings acquire a language.
Firstly,



WHAT is Language?



It has been said that language is the very essence of what makes us human. If we are to fully understand what it means to be human, then, we must understand what language is, how it works, and how we use it.

Figure 1

• Figure 1 shows that Language is more than just communication. It is the primary method which we do things together.



• Language is the accumulation of shared meaning - of common ground.



• Language is common to all humans. We seem to be “hard-wired” for it.



• Language is the mental faculty or power of vocal communication.



• Language is a set of rule for generating speech.
  

Language is a process every child learns from birth, and we continue to use it until our death. Because of this we are able to expand our knowledge and evolve as a society.
Language is a common thread between people, animals, and technology in a community or a particular nation. Being universally understood is central to the communication and way of life of people in a nation. Without a common language there could be no communication between the citizens of that nation. Furthermore, things could be chaotic without language. For example, imagine a stop sign without the word stop.

One Language, Many Shapes and Sizes

THE NATURE OF LANGUAGE

The nature of language is the nature of human thought and human action, for language is no more nor less than the tool of both of these aspects of human nature.
a) Language is Symbolic

Sign Language is a visual means of communicating using gestures, facial expression, and body language. Sign Language is used mainly by Deaf people and people with hearing difficulties. There are various sign languages spoken around the world. These distinct language includes:

1. American Sign Language



2. British Sign Language



3. French Sign Language



4. Danish Sign Language



5. Chinese Sign Language



6. Japanese Sign Language
   



7. Mayan Sign Language

1. American Sign Language is a complete, complex language that employs signs made with the hands and other movements, including facial expressions and postures of the body. It is the first language of many deaf North Americans, and one of several communication options available to deaf people. ASL is said to be the fourth most commonly used language in the United States.

i love you!

2. British Sign Language

Within Britain the most common form of Sign Language is called British Sign Language (BSL). BSL has it's own grammatical structure and syntax, as a language it is not dependant nor is it strongly related to spoken English. BSL is the preferred language of between 50,000 - 70,000 people within the UK.

3. French Sign Language

French Sign Language (langue des signes française or LSF) is the sign language of the deaf in the nation of France.




4. Danish Sign Language
The population of Danish Sign Language is 3500. Some signs are related to French Sign Language.




5. Chinese Sign Language

Modern Chinese Sign Language (simplified Chinese: 中国手语: traditional Chinese: 中國手語: Hanyu Pinyin (vowel tone marking): zhōng-guó-shǒu-yǔ: Hanyu Pinyin (number tone marking): zhong1 guo2 shou3 yu3, CSL) developed around the 14th century. Similar to all sign languages and languages in general, CSL has several dialects, of which Shanghai is the most prominent. Aspects of the sign language relate to Chinese character signs.





6. Japanese Sign Language

Japanese Sign Language is a distinct sign language with unique vocabulary and grammar. It is related to Taiwanese and Korean sign languages.




7. Mayan Sign Language

Maya sign languages are used inMexico and Guatemala by Maya communities with unusually high numbers of deaf inhabitants

THE POWER OF LANGUAGE


Words can inform our mind, caress and comfort our feelings, excite and thrill our spirit, or warm and kindle the flame of our hearts. They can also slap our face, punch us in the stomach, rattle our nerves, kill our desire, or destroy our self-confidence. Of course this is metaphorical, but these metaphors capture in words our physical reactions to what is said, and that is the power of language. It can emotionally move and affect us as powerfully as physical actions.